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Krista’s Story: A Pit In My Stomach

We had been together for more than 6 years. I had a diamond ring on my left hand and a pit in my stomach. We had been through so much… how could I leave him now? He’s done so much for me. And he’ll take care of me. He won’t leave me like my dad left my mom for the SEXertary. I found a faithful one. I’m going to keep him. I’ll make it work and figure out how to deal with our issues later. After all, I’m sure this is just the pre-wedding jitters. Right? My wedding planner had already maped out everything for me. I thought I was just a low-key bride. I didn’t really have opinions on much, just an open bar and a live band. “Tell me when and where and I’ll show up,” was my motto. My mom wanted to get me more invloved so she took me to a bridal show. I walked in and some gitty young girl flung a camera at me and squeeled, “will you take a picture of my mom and I?” I almost puked at I snapped the shot. As we walked deeper into the show, I felt very out of place. I wasn’t like THEM – Those annoying woman fluttering around decadent cakes and lusting over flower arrangements and ornate dresses. I felt a surge of anger, resentment and panic take over. I shot my mom a look of disgust and said, “I have to get out of here, NOW! I saw a bar downstairs… We need to talk.”Over a manhattan and a basket of french fries, I told my mom, “I don’t want to get married.” We both cried. I vented about stuff I had surpressed for years. After my second martini, I felt better. Then as these two women at a nearby table got up to leave, one stopped at our table on the way out. “I really didn’t mean to evesdrop, but I just can’t bite my tongue,” she said in a kind voice. “I just want to tell you that you’re so smart to listen to your gut instinct. I wish I would have been able to do that at your age. Be strong. It will get better.” I felt a rush of relief flow over me. I was free. Now I just had to figure out how to break the news to him and our friends and family.

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