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Lauren’s Story: Creepy Wayne

In high school I dated this guy named Wayne. He was pretty goth, but I thought it was cool. He always wore Cannibal Corpse T-shirts and loved that song “Black Number 9”. Anyway, he seemed really sweet and was sort of dangerous so I was in. He used to ride his bike to my house – more than 10 miles round trip – and he wasn’t in great physical shape so he used to show up at my house all the time sweaty and out of breath and then announce that he had thrown up on the ride over. I was pretty crazy back then, because I thought that was sweet rather than weird.He also used to give me flowers all the time. Which also seemed sweet, except that they were fake flowers and almost always appeared dirty and faded. I didn’t dwell on it, but one day I went to his house and he had a huge box of the flowers. I asked him where he got so many fake flowers from and he said they were from a cemetary – that when the flowers had been on the grave too long they took them away and dumped them in a special trash bin and he took them from there. Please bear in mind that I was about 14 at the time, so I should be given a little slack for not yet knowing what a red flag this was. I supposed I thought he was frugal and resourceful? He was trying to be sweet, right? The real breaking point, though, was when he made a series of shocking and fairly disgusting confessions during a conversation. I won’t outline the full details but it involved strange use of bodily fluids (his own, unfortunately), necrophelia and a very disturbing picture of family life if we ever had children. I ended it immediately, and he responded by telling me that I was stuck up and calling me “Skelotor” to other people (apparently I was too skinny). A solid 13 years later my family STILL makes fun of me for ever dating him and refer to him as “Creepy Wayne”. And I didn’t even tell them that last part… Sincerely,Recovered Judgementally-Impaired Person

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