Diana’s Story: Not all men are created equal

When I was in my mid-twenties, I fell hard for a guy I worked with. I was married at the time I started working with him. I felt we had a mutual attraction, but never acted upon it. I seperated from my husband, just as he was getting engaged to a girl back in his home state. We took up an affair in at the beginning of the summer and I remember we would go out to eat and he would call her and talk with her while I waited in the restaurant. I kept telling myself that he loved me and would not go through with the wedding. We actually lived together for about six months and I just knew he would not go through with it.

He actually left after the new year and came back married to her. I was so crushed and I still wonder what the hell I was thinking! We had so much fun together and the sex was really great. Once he was back, he found that he did not have the same relationship with her that he thought he would. I would listen with bitter amusement while he would complain that she had started nagging him about his habits. He made the comment that while they were dating she was fine with him, but once they married she decided he could change.

I remember having to bite my tongue to keep from saying “Of course she isn’t going to nag at you before you marry her, you might have changed your mind” I am ashamed to admit it, but we actually had an affair after he had married her, and I found that my feelings for him had changed also. I did not feel the same way, or maybe I had came to my senses and realized what kind of man he really was. I still look back at that after a decade and wonder what kind of person I was that I felt I had to be in a relationship like that. He actually contacted me about a year or two later and I found out, surprise, that they had divorced. I am now married to great man, and I cannot help but wonder if I would have appreciated him half as much as I do if I had not had that relationship experience to realize that not all men are created equal.