Jennifer’s Story: The Ex and the Text

I hate a woman I’ve never met. Her name is Jordana and she has no idea I exist. In fact until about 13 months ago I didn’t even know who she was either. But now she is the reason I wonder if there are any good men out there; the reason I shutter when someone mentions New England or the Navy or the Boston Red Sox (like I needed another reason to hate them).

Early last year after a 2 year dating and sex drought I decided it was high time to get up and meet someone new. After my lifelong sweetheart and I broke things off 3 years ago I hadn’t had much interest in dating. One night while sitting alone in my cold apartment I decided I wouldn’t spend anymore Friday nights alone with Will and Grace reruns and a large pizza. So I joined a dating site and soon began meeting people. After two miserable encounters I was about to give up. And then there was a message from a cute sailor who on paper seemed quite perfect. After a few emails and texts we agreed on a first date. And what a first date it was. He was Italian, funny, a great butt and he adored me. He brought me a dozen roses and opened doors for me. When he kissed me it was like I’d never been kissed before. Suddenly I felt like I was back in the saddle again, ready to go.

Things were going well until about a month into the relationship. I logged onto facebook one day and noticed someone named Jordana was leaving him gifts and messages. She sent him a virtual strip tease. Who was this woman moving in on my man? His ex from Maine, whom he’d left behind after comng home to Cincinnati when his stint with the Navy was over. She was ten years his senior, thinner than me with giant breasts and big curly black hair. She was covered in tattoos and had piercings and even owned her own hair salon. She posted pictures of herself in her Red Sox jersey with giant hoop earrings. Being a diehard Yankees fan I didn’t need any more reasons to hate this woman. Yet somehow I felt inadaquate and frumpy compared to this barfly mess. I soon confronted him in which he confessed that he still loved her. We agreed to take life one day at a time and just enjoy each others company. Everything was going smoothly until 2 weeks later…

On a Monday morning around 6 a.m. I recieved a text message. The contents of this said text message was so vile and so heartbreaking I ran to the bathroom and threw up. It simply said ‘You’re going to hate me for what I’m about to tell you. Jordana is coming to visit me for 5 days’ They would be shacking up in a hotel together while she was here. He said he needed to do this and asked if I would wait for him until she was gone. He thought that he’d have a better idea of what he wanted once he spent some time with her. I went nuts. I threatened to message her on facebook and tell her who I was. To her, he was still single, pining over her monster boobs and barhair while he was really with me. She didn’t know I existed. After a long week of fighting he text me the night before she was to arrive and said she wasn’t coming. Upset that he wouldn’t take time off work to hang out with her, she decided not to come. She deleted him from facebook and myspace, even out of her phone. Everyting seemed perfect.

The next weekend we had a great night out with my friends. Driving home from a party I looked at him snoozing in the passenger seat next to me and thought ‘this is totally worth; everything is going to be all right’.And it was. Until the following Saturday. He text me and said he’d been doing a lot of thinking lately and decided he never wanted to see me again. He didn’t have a reason. He just needed space. I tried and tried to get a reason out of him but he never caved. Even after a face to face meeting to redeem the Reds tickets I’d bought him he wouldn’t give me a reason. He told me I was beautiful and drove away. The moral of the story is that I should’ve gotten out while I was ahead. I had the upper hand and instead I came out looking like a crazy heartbroken mess. I let my guard down and let a man who had no remorse for his infidelity get the best of me. For some reason I hate her more than him. Maybe it’s easier; I didn’t know her. Who knows. But what I do know is that never again will I let someone come in and crap all over my life. And every woman should follow suit. If theres another woman, you’re not special. If there’s an ex still in the picture there’s a chance he will never give you his full attention. Or his heart.